I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
