I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
