Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
