Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
