In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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