Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize