on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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