I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
