It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
