True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
