Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
