nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
