if only i could text you this smell
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
