ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
