He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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