so explain again why im purple
no
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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