I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
