Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
