I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
