Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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