I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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