if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
