Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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