And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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