you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
