What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
