Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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