Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
COCAINE IS GR8
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
