So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
