i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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