I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
