I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
