I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
