i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
