my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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