I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Can I color on your dick again?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
