It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
