i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
