Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I party with great urgency now.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
