we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize