Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
never play flip cup with pint glasses
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
