what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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