Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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