Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
