We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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