Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
