I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Randomize
