Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
