Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
