eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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