actually, I'm a sock model
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
