My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
