It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
