I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize