shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
tell your sister to shave her snatch
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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