if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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