aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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