Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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